I love the details that create a strong sense of place, both for Los Angeles and then for Joshua Tree. The details brought to mind Bryan Washington in a UNO workshop and his story set in Houston which became part of his first book "Lot." In both instances, seeing the place helped create a sense of the characters, not just their appearances but their inner driving forces. Thanks for sharing this.
I don’t know Bryan Washington’s work but seems like I should be checking him out. I’m thrilled that you got something out of this. I obviously write in a propulsive and dialogue-heavy style and try not to bog down the lace with too much description but it sounds like the details I am choosing are resonating which is the hope. Thank you again!
That's because my stories are long and involved, and I take a break from time to time to read and try to catch up. Problem is, there's so much Trump shit, and 51st state crap, I tend to stay away longer and longer The last thing we want up here is to be the 51st state. And as for crossing the border? Not likely for this kid. So I just read fiction and write fiction, and hope someone sees me.
I love the entertainment of the comedy but the temporal engagement of a drug induced cosmic time bender is the best ride! When you have us thinking about aliens in the desert or maybe a meaningful drug experience. You then provide a deeper question. Would our soul come to save us for our destiny? How many chances do we get? Of course you leave us wanting more! Enjoyed this story a lot!
I just lived this exact story in December. So, somehow, this was written as fiction in September, then I actually lived it, and I am now reading it in January. The dispensary in LA, the AirBnb in JT, the blue light and alternate reality...I don't have a husband named Pascal and, while Zima *was* my first alcoholic bev in the 90s, we did not have any on that trip.
But the roadrunners were definitely meeping around to avoid the tiny anvils precariously placed on every precipice in the entire wide desert in a 100 mile radius. They disappeared when we got back to LA.
Thanks for blue light, I haven't read a short story in years... Hell that's a lie! I really don't care for short stories, but I kinda liked yours. Made me seriously think about taking more than a couple hits off a one-hitter of the pot my son grew... god that shits strong. Us boomers in our '70s are pretty much wusses when it comes to today's smoke. Anyhoo, keep 'em coming. Not sure what caused you to reel me in but I'm guessing because you thought a postersexual might have an interest in an emailsexual. So, if that was your intuition... Congratulations, your business model works TTFN
Haha. Thanks so much. I thought we agreed on politics so you seemed cool but it’s a big deal to ask a stranger to read your fiction. Big ask. I’m amazed you did. Thank you!!!
Haha. Well, I suggest driving deep into San Bernardino county and looking for unmarked dispensaries where the money counter is an underage girl showing too much midriff.
The creativity in this story is fkn amazing. LOVE this, Max. Just when I think the previous one was my favorite...well, this one topped it. I wish you all the best with your management team and can;t wait to see your stories on the big screen
This is crazy. I have my target audience if I ever publish a book! Izzibella. I will say there was a very rough older version of this that was not good and not finished and not ready to ever be read but with my wife’s inspiration and help I completely created this in the last two weeks. It was really fun. Never thought it could be good enough to stand next to the other ones that have been around for 5 years. Feels like I did it — according to you! :)
Hmm. Maybe I drive out to the desert with a tin full of Loopy Froots? :) Thanks, Sandy! So fun to think that every story I post you seem to read them right away! Sending all my love.
Thant is so kind of you! I really do hope to expand this sometime. For sure! You really encouraged me today. I’ve never thought “blue light” was one of my top tier stories but this made me feel really good about it. It means a lot!
I'm in love with this: searing a retina memory in my eye...
Also, is anyone else LIVID that maga thinks the punisher is THEIR hero??? They COMPLETELY misunderstood the character. He would not work with ICE agents. He would kill ICE agents.
Thank you so much! These comments are amazing. The wifely duties line comes directly from my wife word for word and she is very much being tongue in cheek. One good way to write women is just steal their words point blank! :)
You had me at "emailsexual."
I have to thank @witchycowboy for that one. That’s her name for me!
“raises glass*
My wife is a genius.
I love the details that create a strong sense of place, both for Los Angeles and then for Joshua Tree. The details brought to mind Bryan Washington in a UNO workshop and his story set in Houston which became part of his first book "Lot." In both instances, seeing the place helped create a sense of the characters, not just their appearances but their inner driving forces. Thanks for sharing this.
Wow thank you. This is such cool feedback
I don’t know Bryan Washington’s work but seems like I should be checking him out. I’m thrilled that you got something out of this. I obviously write in a propulsive and dialogue-heavy style and try not to bog down the lace with too much description but it sounds like the details I am choosing are resonating which is the hope. Thank you again!
Now that was a trip. Thought I was having a flashback, or something. Caught in an endless loop I suppose, but oh so good...
Thank you so much. This means the world. I know you’ve taken the time to read and comment on multiple stories of mine. THANK YOU.
That's because my stories are long and involved, and I take a break from time to time to read and try to catch up. Problem is, there's so much Trump shit, and 51st state crap, I tend to stay away longer and longer The last thing we want up here is to be the 51st state. And as for crossing the border? Not likely for this kid. So I just read fiction and write fiction, and hope someone sees me.
I love the entertainment of the comedy but the temporal engagement of a drug induced cosmic time bender is the best ride! When you have us thinking about aliens in the desert or maybe a meaningful drug experience. You then provide a deeper question. Would our soul come to save us for our destiny? How many chances do we get? Of course you leave us wanting more! Enjoyed this story a lot!
Thank you so much Jennifer 🙏🙏
One of the best pieces of comedy I’ve seen on this app!!
Thank you so much. What a great compliment.
I just lived this exact story in December. So, somehow, this was written as fiction in September, then I actually lived it, and I am now reading it in January. The dispensary in LA, the AirBnb in JT, the blue light and alternate reality...I don't have a husband named Pascal and, while Zima *was* my first alcoholic bev in the 90s, we did not have any on that trip.
But the roadrunners were definitely meeping around to avoid the tiny anvils precariously placed on every precipice in the entire wide desert in a 100 mile radius. They disappeared when we got back to LA.
Well, I hope your life slows down a little and you're hiatus from writing short stories is brief. Good luck to you!
Thank you so much. Hope so!
Thanks for blue light, I haven't read a short story in years... Hell that's a lie! I really don't care for short stories, but I kinda liked yours. Made me seriously think about taking more than a couple hits off a one-hitter of the pot my son grew... god that shits strong. Us boomers in our '70s are pretty much wusses when it comes to today's smoke. Anyhoo, keep 'em coming. Not sure what caused you to reel me in but I'm guessing because you thought a postersexual might have an interest in an emailsexual. So, if that was your intuition... Congratulations, your business model works TTFN
Haha. Thanks so much. I thought we agreed on politics so you seemed cool but it’s a big deal to ask a stranger to read your fiction. Big ask. I’m amazed you did. Thank you!!!
Sterling. Thanks for the engaging read. "He’s just a man who inspires rage." Yes. Ask any wife. :-)
Haha. I just saw this for the first time somehow. Thanks!
I think I may be married to an "email sexual". Plus, where do I find these Frooty Loops?
Haha. Well, I suggest driving deep into San Bernardino county and looking for unmarked dispensaries where the money counter is an underage girl showing too much midriff.
The creativity in this story is fkn amazing. LOVE this, Max. Just when I think the previous one was my favorite...well, this one topped it. I wish you all the best with your management team and can;t wait to see your stories on the big screen
This is crazy. I have my target audience if I ever publish a book! Izzibella. I will say there was a very rough older version of this that was not good and not finished and not ready to ever be read but with my wife’s inspiration and help I completely created this in the last two weeks. It was really fun. Never thought it could be good enough to stand next to the other ones that have been around for 5 years. Feels like I did it — according to you! :)
Where can I get some Loopy Fruits? 🤔
Very imaginative and entertaining. I'm not so sure I'd want to meet myself.
Haha. Somewhere in San Bernardino county there might be a 14 year old who will sell them to you. I don’t think the place has a sign.
Where do you come up with this stuff???? Very entertaining! 🙌
Hmm. Maybe I drive out to the desert with a tin full of Loopy Froots? :) Thanks, Sandy! So fun to think that every story I post you seem to read them right away! Sending all my love.
I love your stories…they’re great escapes!
Miss you, Sandy! Come to LA! Can’t wait for you to meet my wife.
Miss you too! It’s been far too long! And I can’t wait to meet Aspen!
Okay, I know serialized fiction here is not an ideal.
But I need a sequel.
Thant is so kind of you! I really do hope to expand this sometime. For sure! You really encouraged me today. I’ve never thought “blue light” was one of my top tier stories but this made me feel really good about it. It means a lot!
1. Yes. You can write female characters.
2. Yes, you are most definitely over confident.
This line had me cringing: Focus on my wifely duties — you follow?
I know it was tongue in cheek. But *still*...
I am really loving the energy of blue light so far though. Had to stop reading and post this. Back to the story.
I don't see an edit comment button:
I'm in love with this: searing a retina memory in my eye...
Also, is anyone else LIVID that maga thinks the punisher is THEIR hero??? They COMPLETELY misunderstood the character. He would not work with ICE agents. He would kill ICE agents.
Thank you so much! These comments are amazing. The wifely duties line comes directly from my wife word for word and she is very much being tongue in cheek. One good way to write women is just steal their words point blank! :)
Haha touche. Tell your wife she's cringy from me. And isn't funny how other people love the stories we think might be throw aways?
Perhaps, the finest use of the clear alcoholic beverage Zima ever in a story. Very funny.
Ha. Thanks so much! If you enjoyed this one I think “the sad lawyer” is worth checking out.