God, that was just incredible. I had no idea what I was walking into. I felt like I was there. I couldn't believe what I was reading in the best way possible. The neighbor is hilarious. "It was like liberating Auschwitz". The narrator is key to this. It's absolutely awesome the way it captures the current modern/online Zeitgeist, kind of toxic Truman Show. I've never read anything like this ever. I need this to be on camera at some point. This almost is like a new genre or something. I am so impressed. I'm sure soooo many average Americans can relate to this on some level and the other live vicariously.
I’m very familiar with KingCobrajfs (RIP). This is a super interesting perspective and really details the depravity and dangers para social relationships over the internet can develop. Thanks for sharing!
Oh amazing. For each piece I write, there is one group of people I am most concerned about and hoping will approve of my approach. For my memoir piece about the Chelsea Hotel, it’s the long time residents that I know. For this piece, obviously, it’s JFS fans/trolls/etc. I hope people can see where I’m coming from with this and that it’s a proper homage to him. RIP. So happy you liked it!
I saw a bit of King Cobra related content ages ago. Never thought I´d stumble upon a whole short story based on the dude. You did a great job capturing the mentality of the average LOLcow milker. Scarier part is that this is not even the furthest that this kind of internet subculture can go.
You’re the first person who knows the real Cobes that has commented and it’s a huge compliment that you think I captured it okay. I really wanted it to be authentic, so that means a lot to me. I’d be so curious to hear what you’ve seen out there what’s even more disturbing.
The story of Chris Chan. Kind of hard to encapsulate, since it's one of the most (if not the most) elaborate internet rabbit holes out there. In short, Chris Chan is an autistic trans woman who gained internet infamy for her self-published and crudely drawn comics. A whole bunch of internet trolls and stalkers became fixated to the point where they infiltrated her life, pretended to be interested in her romantically with the intent of either humiliating her or getting nudes from her, and collected so much information on this one person that some say she is the most documented person on the internet, and even in all of human history. There is literally decades worth of drama and lore surrounding Chris, all of which has become the subject of multiple amateur internet documentaries, some of which span almost a hundred episodes. The most disturbing point was when one of her most vicious trolls, a literal nazi, pedophile, and animal abuser, manipulated Chris into either lying about raping or just outright raping her dementia addled mother. It's kind of tricky to figure out what is true, especially since I only viewed this whole thing from the periphery by watching videos of other people talking about it, and Chris is not really a reliable person since she also believes her fictional characters inhabit her body at some points and that every single fictional character ever created exists in a parallel dimention that will at some point intersect with our own. I also stopped following this a while back because it got too disturbing for me, and I kind of feel icky knowing so much about this whole thing.
Wow. Thank you for sharing. Definitely not familiar with that story but yeah. Sounds like it’s most certainly even more disturbing than anything JFS was up to. He seems ultimately pretty harmless (although some people have made the point that he was accused of stalking his crushes at some point.) But anyway, the internet as a lens into the deepest darkest corners of humanity will always fascinate me.
Thank you so much! I really had no idea how people would react to this. It was a big swing for me but down with a lot of passion. I had fun. Glad you did too.
Very different from your usual, good satire of Internet pop culture. It reads like Kurt Vonnegut meets David Foster Wallace with a touch of Tim Dorsey mahem. Serge Storms and Coleman would be proud.
Had a vip preview of this one and it’s absolutely WILD. Highly unique and engaging POV, even though it’s from a “degenerate” and “unnerving” personality. Fantastic read!
I read compulsively to the end. I'm still unsure I wanted to, but your prose is a pulsing strobe! Congrats. It's the search for Kurtz ending at a desert gas station. A screen-prison 'Waste Land' populated by lurkers stoked on Psilocybin. And mead? A Grendel touch? I'm still catching my breath.
I love this. Thank you so much. A “pulsing strobe” is such a a great phrase and definitely the intention - so I deeply appreciate that. Amazing that you enjoyed this much.
I have never been a fan of one sentence paragraphs, but when done like this, it WORKS. A heartbeat through the entire story, keeping the pace up even when there is really nothing going on. Love it.
Thank you. This evolved naturally for me because people are reading these in their phone and I read it over and over on my phone as I revise. Not some big artistic statement but simply as you say: it happens to work.
Mention the late King Cobra in certain corners of the Internet and a common response will be people bemoaning his passing and offering the name of a more deserving degenerate who should have died in his place. There is a lingering affection for the him. It boils down to him being one of those unusual lolcows whose dissolute lifestyle was mostly only harmful to himself. I imagine his dad suffered over the years, but in the main he didn't really hurt anyone, unless you are counting Fun-Size Felicia - a sex doll that he 'cut up into pieces'. I will concede that Felecia got a raw deal.
Most of this story is a really good shop-soiled primer into the lifestyle of King Cobra, his trolls and his a-logs. If you are unfamiliar with the man, then (take it from someone who followed him for years) it really captures his essence. None of it is an exaggeration until the end, of course, when an era in the life of Cobes that is often referenced as 'the bogwitch saga' is dragged into the realm of horror.
Cobes is the ideal protagonist of a certain kind of cult horror story that is nothing to do with a well-endowed young girl in a tight cheerleader outfit being pursued through the woods at night by a zombie wielding a boat hook. At one time the paranormal board on 4chan was filled with discussions regarding how to summon a succubus. If anyone was going to accidentally summon a succubus, or open a portal to the infernal plane with one of his crappy home-made wands, or create a grease golem from the residue of his disgusting cooking and then render it down into an even more disgusting improvised recipe, it was Cobes.
A few days ago (I believe 26th March) it would have been his birthday. Joshua Moon (owner of the Kiwi Farms) played one of his old videos on the Mad at the Internet live stream, harkening back to a time when he did have friends who would cook with him. They drifted away or he fell out with them; some of them took advantage. The Death of Ozzy Osborne hit him hard. It seemed like the final straw for him. I think he would have been flattered that people remember him fondly, albeit with a measure of horror and disgust, and that he is celebrated and immortalized in popular culture.
Thank you so much, Sam. Really appreciate this. I am fully cognizant that there are many many people out there who know Cobes much better than I did and followed his saga for much longer. So, it is heartening to me that you feel like I got it right for the most part. I only want to do right by him and his trolls by being as accurate as I can while also having fun with were we can go from this setup. I do think from what little I do know about Cobes that he would appreciate being remembered in the culture and if we develop a horror movie which is very much the plan, I would see one of my roles as being a protector of his legacy in a way. I feel enormous sympathy for him and think he was a genuinely fascinating guy. I can see myself devoting years to getting him on screen which is the main question we have to ask ourselves as producers: do you want to spend years on this? For me in this case the answer is very much yes.
Fantastic. Gave me Palahniuk/Vonnegut vibes, but the narrative felt more propulsive, and the structure snappier. Had no idea King Cobra was a real person until wading into the comments here, but it checks out because everything from the plot to the language to the characters felt uncomfortably realistic.
Wasn't a 'typical' horror story, but the kind I prefer: raw, unrepetant, and unconcerned with pulling its punches. It felt like an autopsy of the human condition, how so many are rotting away from the inside out, chasing parasocial connections to fill a void that is widening by the day, how algorithms have hijacked people's dopamine centers, and turned tech giants into modern drug dealers with a vested interest in keeping their users hooked. The trolls roasting the meth'd out girlfriend while being entirely blind to their own parasocial dopamine addictions was beautifully rendered and chillingly real in the way it played out.
Dude, this is such an awesome comment to receive. My favorite kind: when a clearly smart person is generous enough to take the time not only to read, but to give such a smart and thoughtful take — people on here can really surprise me. They often see something in my writing that is there but was more instinctual or subconscious (not necessarily things I was focused on top of mind but that I’m so happy come across because they are definitely under the surface.) That you “get it” and took the time to share this with me is priceless and better / more meaningful to me than getting rich on Substack from paid subscriptions.
Thanks again for the comment and the repost. There is nothing quite like this one. “Bunny Never Sleeps” was optioned to Netflix so that’s usually a good one to try on. “The Sad Lawyer” is a personal favorite and maybe some of my best writing? My personal memoir “hello Chelsea” is also something that a lot of people resonated with and I’m proud of it because I never imagined I’d write personal essays on here n
Thank you so much for reading, Tim. I’m so happy it clicked with you. It means the world to me as this was a big swing into something different for me.
I enjoyed the escalation in frenetic energy you captured. I don't know if it was the structure, sentence length or something else but it certainly felt as though it was ramping up to the conclusion. Very well done, my friend. If you are interested here is my latest piece, it's kind of a long one. I can't seem to write anything shorter than 30 pages lol. I understand if you don't have the time, would just really love honest feedback. https://timratliff.substack.com/p/her-secret-zoo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=72ghqi
Well, this was a delightful read! The downward spiral just kept adding speed, and the commentary-rambling-narration was both very accurate to discord/twitch/most online plat. vomit while “sophisticated” enough to keep the pace at par to the unfolding events.
Some critique: at times, stuff got a bit repetitive, so there’s definitely room for tightening (even though to keep the tone accurate some repetition is needed), cut the overt “well, we just want to see him like that” stuff. And I don’t think the few overshadowings (e.g. at the end of “ch”1 about them not realising how bad this would get”) deliver, but this might be a personal preference. This is told in hindsight so might be just the stuff you need.
Regardless, fun ride, the ending had some Cabin in the Woods vibes with the cobra demon and stuff getting both bloody and weird. Good stuff!
God, that was just incredible. I had no idea what I was walking into. I felt like I was there. I couldn't believe what I was reading in the best way possible. The neighbor is hilarious. "It was like liberating Auschwitz". The narrator is key to this. It's absolutely awesome the way it captures the current modern/online Zeitgeist, kind of toxic Truman Show. I've never read anything like this ever. I need this to be on camera at some point. This almost is like a new genre or something. I am so impressed. I'm sure soooo many average Americans can relate to this on some level and the other live vicariously.
I am totally blown away.
Thank you, sir.
I’m very familiar with KingCobrajfs (RIP). This is a super interesting perspective and really details the depravity and dangers para social relationships over the internet can develop. Thanks for sharing!
Oh amazing. For each piece I write, there is one group of people I am most concerned about and hoping will approve of my approach. For my memoir piece about the Chelsea Hotel, it’s the long time residents that I know. For this piece, obviously, it’s JFS fans/trolls/etc. I hope people can see where I’m coming from with this and that it’s a proper homage to him. RIP. So happy you liked it!
I saw a bit of King Cobra related content ages ago. Never thought I´d stumble upon a whole short story based on the dude. You did a great job capturing the mentality of the average LOLcow milker. Scarier part is that this is not even the furthest that this kind of internet subculture can go.
You’re the first person who knows the real Cobes that has commented and it’s a huge compliment that you think I captured it okay. I really wanted it to be authentic, so that means a lot to me. I’d be so curious to hear what you’ve seen out there what’s even more disturbing.
The story of Chris Chan. Kind of hard to encapsulate, since it's one of the most (if not the most) elaborate internet rabbit holes out there. In short, Chris Chan is an autistic trans woman who gained internet infamy for her self-published and crudely drawn comics. A whole bunch of internet trolls and stalkers became fixated to the point where they infiltrated her life, pretended to be interested in her romantically with the intent of either humiliating her or getting nudes from her, and collected so much information on this one person that some say she is the most documented person on the internet, and even in all of human history. There is literally decades worth of drama and lore surrounding Chris, all of which has become the subject of multiple amateur internet documentaries, some of which span almost a hundred episodes. The most disturbing point was when one of her most vicious trolls, a literal nazi, pedophile, and animal abuser, manipulated Chris into either lying about raping or just outright raping her dementia addled mother. It's kind of tricky to figure out what is true, especially since I only viewed this whole thing from the periphery by watching videos of other people talking about it, and Chris is not really a reliable person since she also believes her fictional characters inhabit her body at some points and that every single fictional character ever created exists in a parallel dimention that will at some point intersect with our own. I also stopped following this a while back because it got too disturbing for me, and I kind of feel icky knowing so much about this whole thing.
Wow. Thank you for sharing. Definitely not familiar with that story but yeah. Sounds like it’s most certainly even more disturbing than anything JFS was up to. He seems ultimately pretty harmless (although some people have made the point that he was accused of stalking his crushes at some point.) But anyway, the internet as a lens into the deepest darkest corners of humanity will always fascinate me.
Great story! Love the POV of a troll angel/demon feeding the online frenzy. Also like this band of randos meeting IRL to save the day. Nicely done.
Thank you so much! I really had no idea how people would react to this. It was a big swing for me but down with a lot of passion. I had fun. Glad you did too.
Fantastic!
Thank you so much for reading!
Very different from your usual, good satire of Internet pop culture. It reads like Kurt Vonnegut meets David Foster Wallace with a touch of Tim Dorsey mahem. Serge Storms and Coleman would be proud.
Thank you so much. Love this list of comps. I have to check out the last three. Very familiar with the first two
Tim Dorsey wrote a whole series of novels with antihero Serge Storms and stoner sidekick Coleman. I knew Tim, great guy with a sense of humor.
I am adding to my list to check out. Thank you so much for this!
Totally loved this. I need a scalding hot shower after reading.
Thank you, Duncan. Wow. High praise coming from a writer I admire so much!
Highly enjoyed
Thank you so much, Maddie. It means the world to me that you’d travel with me down this weird world.
Had a vip preview of this one and it’s absolutely WILD. Highly unique and engaging POV, even though it’s from a “degenerate” and “unnerving” personality. Fantastic read!
Thank you Ash! 🙏
Still reading, but I am loving the POV and the use of “we”. Excellent choices! This is just great writing.
Thanks again for reading this — it means so much to me that anyone would go with me on this weird ride.
I read compulsively to the end. I'm still unsure I wanted to, but your prose is a pulsing strobe! Congrats. It's the search for Kurtz ending at a desert gas station. A screen-prison 'Waste Land' populated by lurkers stoked on Psilocybin. And mead? A Grendel touch? I'm still catching my breath.
I love this. Thank you so much. A “pulsing strobe” is such a a great phrase and definitely the intention - so I deeply appreciate that. Amazing that you enjoyed this much.
I have never been a fan of one sentence paragraphs, but when done like this, it WORKS. A heartbeat through the entire story, keeping the pace up even when there is really nothing going on. Love it.
Thank you. This evolved naturally for me because people are reading these in their phone and I read it over and over on my phone as I revise. Not some big artistic statement but simply as you say: it happens to work.
Mention the late King Cobra in certain corners of the Internet and a common response will be people bemoaning his passing and offering the name of a more deserving degenerate who should have died in his place. There is a lingering affection for the him. It boils down to him being one of those unusual lolcows whose dissolute lifestyle was mostly only harmful to himself. I imagine his dad suffered over the years, but in the main he didn't really hurt anyone, unless you are counting Fun-Size Felicia - a sex doll that he 'cut up into pieces'. I will concede that Felecia got a raw deal.
Most of this story is a really good shop-soiled primer into the lifestyle of King Cobra, his trolls and his a-logs. If you are unfamiliar with the man, then (take it from someone who followed him for years) it really captures his essence. None of it is an exaggeration until the end, of course, when an era in the life of Cobes that is often referenced as 'the bogwitch saga' is dragged into the realm of horror.
Cobes is the ideal protagonist of a certain kind of cult horror story that is nothing to do with a well-endowed young girl in a tight cheerleader outfit being pursued through the woods at night by a zombie wielding a boat hook. At one time the paranormal board on 4chan was filled with discussions regarding how to summon a succubus. If anyone was going to accidentally summon a succubus, or open a portal to the infernal plane with one of his crappy home-made wands, or create a grease golem from the residue of his disgusting cooking and then render it down into an even more disgusting improvised recipe, it was Cobes.
A few days ago (I believe 26th March) it would have been his birthday. Joshua Moon (owner of the Kiwi Farms) played one of his old videos on the Mad at the Internet live stream, harkening back to a time when he did have friends who would cook with him. They drifted away or he fell out with them; some of them took advantage. The Death of Ozzy Osborne hit him hard. It seemed like the final straw for him. I think he would have been flattered that people remember him fondly, albeit with a measure of horror and disgust, and that he is celebrated and immortalized in popular culture.
Thank you so much, Sam. Really appreciate this. I am fully cognizant that there are many many people out there who know Cobes much better than I did and followed his saga for much longer. So, it is heartening to me that you feel like I got it right for the most part. I only want to do right by him and his trolls by being as accurate as I can while also having fun with were we can go from this setup. I do think from what little I do know about Cobes that he would appreciate being remembered in the culture and if we develop a horror movie which is very much the plan, I would see one of my roles as being a protector of his legacy in a way. I feel enormous sympathy for him and think he was a genuinely fascinating guy. I can see myself devoting years to getting him on screen which is the main question we have to ask ourselves as producers: do you want to spend years on this? For me in this case the answer is very much yes.
Fantastic. Gave me Palahniuk/Vonnegut vibes, but the narrative felt more propulsive, and the structure snappier. Had no idea King Cobra was a real person until wading into the comments here, but it checks out because everything from the plot to the language to the characters felt uncomfortably realistic.
Wasn't a 'typical' horror story, but the kind I prefer: raw, unrepetant, and unconcerned with pulling its punches. It felt like an autopsy of the human condition, how so many are rotting away from the inside out, chasing parasocial connections to fill a void that is widening by the day, how algorithms have hijacked people's dopamine centers, and turned tech giants into modern drug dealers with a vested interest in keeping their users hooked. The trolls roasting the meth'd out girlfriend while being entirely blind to their own parasocial dopamine addictions was beautifully rendered and chillingly real in the way it played out.
And that last line?
Fucking hilarious
10/10
Dude, this is such an awesome comment to receive. My favorite kind: when a clearly smart person is generous enough to take the time not only to read, but to give such a smart and thoughtful take — people on here can really surprise me. They often see something in my writing that is there but was more instinctual or subconscious (not necessarily things I was focused on top of mind but that I’m so happy come across because they are definitely under the surface.) That you “get it” and took the time to share this with me is priceless and better / more meaningful to me than getting rich on Substack from paid subscriptions.
Cheers - had a blast reading it. Looking forward to checking out your other work, too. Any recommendations where to start?
Thanks again for the comment and the repost. There is nothing quite like this one. “Bunny Never Sleeps” was optioned to Netflix so that’s usually a good one to try on. “The Sad Lawyer” is a personal favorite and maybe some of my best writing? My personal memoir “hello Chelsea” is also something that a lot of people resonated with and I’m proud of it because I never imagined I’d write personal essays on here n
Fantastic story. Love your style and voice.
Thank you so much for reading, Tim. I’m so happy it clicked with you. It means the world to me as this was a big swing into something different for me.
I enjoyed the escalation in frenetic energy you captured. I don't know if it was the structure, sentence length or something else but it certainly felt as though it was ramping up to the conclusion. Very well done, my friend. If you are interested here is my latest piece, it's kind of a long one. I can't seem to write anything shorter than 30 pages lol. I understand if you don't have the time, would just really love honest feedback. https://timratliff.substack.com/p/her-secret-zoo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=72ghqi
Added to my “to read”. Thank you again for taking the time.
Thank you for the story.
Well, this was a delightful read! The downward spiral just kept adding speed, and the commentary-rambling-narration was both very accurate to discord/twitch/most online plat. vomit while “sophisticated” enough to keep the pace at par to the unfolding events.
Some critique: at times, stuff got a bit repetitive, so there’s definitely room for tightening (even though to keep the tone accurate some repetition is needed), cut the overt “well, we just want to see him like that” stuff. And I don’t think the few overshadowings (e.g. at the end of “ch”1 about them not realising how bad this would get”) deliver, but this might be a personal preference. This is told in hindsight so might be just the stuff you need.
Regardless, fun ride, the ending had some Cabin in the Woods vibes with the cobra demon and stuff getting both bloody and weird. Good stuff!